Why feedback matters and how to receive it.
During an online training last week I heard Young Professionals tell me over and over how difficult it is for them to give and to receive feedback. Research shows that not getting feedback is very often why people leave the job. They say the following:
Leaders, align your team through inspriring questions!
As a coach, I believe, it is through questions that we develop. Especially leaders, when you find yourselves in the midst of crisis and uncertainty, you should ask powerful and inspiring questions. Eventhough you might think that people look to you for answers!
Asking questions well can put you on the path to solving intractable problems and will also help you connect with your team and, counterintuitively, to earn their trust. Those questions should be big in scope: What new opportunities have emerged that we don’t want to miss? How might we use new technologies to change our business model? And you should involve others in answering those questions —employees, stakeholders, and even customers. Doing so can not only help you generate better answers, it can also help you to change your organization’s cult. The kind of questions leaders need to ask are those that invite people to come together to explore major new opportunities that your organization hasn’t identified yet. Rather than on the existing activities of the organization. Here are some examples:
Coachable or non-coachable?
Executive coaching can help you develop your fullest potential, make you aware that there should be an alignment between the company you work for, your personal values and the purpose why you work. Here are seven core characteristics that differentiate leaders who evolve through coaching from those who don’t.
• Openness to experimentation; taking risks.
• Ability to look beyond the rational; like looking at fear, anger, irritations and pride.
• Willingness to take responsibility; you can shape your future.
• Capacity for forgiveness; stop defending that you were right.
• Self-discipline; let go of ways of thinking that made you successful in the past.
• Ability to ask for support; share goals and listen out of curiosity and learn from others through asking feedback.
• Invest in time and effort.
The Sound of Music is verslavend.
Vroeger durfde ik niet te vertellen dat ik, als ik sentimenteel was, The Sound of Music film ging kijken. In de kerstweken mag het weer van mijzelf. Ik begrijp nu beter, door de uitleg van Jan Pieter Koch, musicoloog, waarom deze film zo verslavend is.
De melodieën van Rodgers en teksten van Hammerstein hebben het gebruik van muziek in deze film, zo uniek gemaakt en daarom word je steeds geroerd. De muziek is de kracht die een plotwending geeft. Maria staat voor levensvreugde. Zij brengt weer leven, door muziek, in het strenge koude huis van de Von Trapp’s. Wat je ziet en wat je hoort, wat je registreert en wat je weet, herhaalt zich keer op keer als een perpetuum mobile van het diepste verlangen naar geluk. Alles wat we diep in ons hart willen gebeurt in The Sound of Music.
Muziek en poëzie zijn zo goed geïntegreerd, dat de toeschouwer zich nauwelijks bewust is van de effectieve toonsoorten en metrums die het gemoed en niet het verstand aanspreken.
Op weg van het klooster naar de Von Trapp’s reflecteert Maria zichzelf, door het zingen van het lied Confidence en bouwt ze zelfvertrouwen op, spreekt zichzelf moed in en stelt zichzelf gerust.
Ze verbindt zich met de kinderen door solidair te zijn, ze niet te verraden en ze gerust te stellen. Ze confronteert de vader en leert hem dat hij door muziek zich weer kan verbinden met zijn kinderen. En als dat gebeurt krijg ik, net als vele anderen, altijd kippenvel en rolt er een traan over mijn wang. Daarna zie je dat vertrouwen en durf hen de vrijheid geeft.
Geniet van de komende weken, kies een film die je ontroert en omarm de emotie.
Interview met Jan Pieter Koch
Over-performers, know what makes them tick
My client graduated with the highest honors, and moved up the corporate ladder quickly, and accepted, or should I say was deceived, many large responsibilities through different assignments. Within a couple of years, she was, at the age of 26, advising the board. She was, in everyone's estimation, an "A player"—one of the gifted and productive employees. She consistently overperformed, and her boss said she did great work. She though worked harder and harder. But although she received many compliments, she missed a non-judgemental mentor to learn from. She felt under-appreciated and stressed almost leading to a burn-out. She was already looking for another job. Through coaching, she got an insight that it is not the job but that she is striving to satisfy an inner need for recognition based on low self-esteem. She was working extrinsically instead of intrinsically driven. Certainly, managers aren't therapists or executive coaches, and they don't have to be. But it will help managers if you try to understand what makes these employers tick. If we do not carefully manage the often-unconscious needs of these over-performers for appreciation, they will bum out in a way that is damaging to themselves and unproductive for the company.
Art of focusing
If I could just plan my schedule better I will get more done. I recognize this thought, or should I say assumption, and so does one of my clients. He and I and many others struggle with the fact that we think this all the time but we still don't feel very productive. We are often falling short of our daily goals for progress. And then we "punish" ourselves again with the thought that we should plan our schedule better. A Catch 22 thought!
It wasn’t until it dawned on me when I read this article in HBR: Being prolific is not about time management. There are a limited number of hours in the day, and focusing on time management just makes us more aware of how many of those hours we waste.
A better option is attention management: Prioritize the people and projects that matter, and it won’t matter how long anything takes. Attention management is the art of focusing on getting things done for the right reasons, in the right places and at the right moments. So start the day with sitting back and analyze what needs to be done and why instead of when.
Vragen stellen = Verbinden
Vragen stellen zit in mijn bloed. Ik ben nieuwsgierig en vraag naar verhouding, verbinding en context. Ook al hou ik mijn mond deze vragen spelen zich constant af in mijn hoofd.
Nu las ik in de Correspondent dat Hoogleraar Martin Walton het “verhoudingskunde” noemt. Mooi gezegd!
Hoe verhouden mensen zich tot de dingen die hen overkomen? Hoe verhouden ze zich tot de rollen die ze spelen/ werk/ privé? Of de rollen die ze niet meer kunnen spelen door ziekte, demotie, ontslag of burn-out. Hoe verhouden ze zich tot die ervaring van verlies? Mijn ervaring met deze verhoudingskunde is
Ben jij een micromanager?
Professionals worden gek van mircromanagers.
“Zo leren we toch niets meer”, hoorde ik twee mensen op de fiets tegen elkaar zeggen.
“ Ik ga op zoek naar een andere baan.” Jammer, denk ik. M’n handen jeuken om met de betreffende manager in gesprek te gaan.
Micromanagers weten allang dat ze controle houden en dat ze een control freak worden genoemd. Het in controle willen houden van taken is een onbewust gedrag. Veelal ontstaan uit de angst en het niet vertrouwen van het loslaten of het overlaten aan anderen. Heb jij deze gedachtes ook?
Importance of workers Health and Wellness
The remote work measures taken in response to Covid-19 have caused the digital economy to grow more rapidly than ever before, along with our “always on” culture and the stresses of managing work-life balance.
Sunday 06 September 2020 hits: 840
Should you work while on vacation? Reframe Time-off to Work-time!
Clients tell me that they like working remotely part-time, but it also burdens them with additional demands on their time
Spending weekends or holidays working undermines one of the most important factors that determine whether we persist in our work: Intrinsic Motivation. We feel intrinsically motivated when we engage in activities that we find interesting, enjoyable, and meaningful. Research shows that working during leisure time creates internal conflict between pursuing personal and professional goals, leading us to enjoy our work less. Yet, we also uncovered a solution to this problem: reframing time off as “work time” can help us maintain intrinsic motivation for our work.
Similarly to how we think of Monday as the “start of the week”. When we engage in work during the time that we think of as leisure time, such as the weekend, we experience conflict between our expectations and reality, and as a result, we find our work less engaging and less meaningful.